just one...

a word to describe how i feel... thankful...

it may be a simple word to most, but to me, it resonates a myriad of a thousand feelings, of happiness, joy, relief, heartfelt love... so many... so much gladness...


my dearest will be embarking on her new journey soon... and i hope to be with her beside, holding her thru the new life and on... :)

words and thoughts...

before i begin, i shall remind myself of the golden rule... never make promises i cannot keep...

to my dearest, i promise,
i'll be there for as long as i still draw breathe
i shall never make the same mistake again, regardless

you have given me a life to share, and a world to live
eventhough i can never forgive myself, i shall live truthfully for you

i know i've to give you time and space, and i know not when you'll accept
so i wish you here, for everyday till the end,
a very good morning and a very good night,
do take care... you mean the world to me,
be safe and be well...

vagaries of fate

its funny how fate seems to make fun of our emotional lives, as many had said.

life seems to happen as if it'll never be enough of miseries and making a game of people's lives...

no matter how much i try to run away from my past, and start life afresh, the past always comes back to haunt me, hurting everyone i know... perhaps thats my fate, and probably that's my life, but i have to face it and be true about it... even if it means losing everything.

we're like pawns in fate's game. can't move on in life with what i've done...

i swear with my life it's the 1st and last time i made that mistake. i've kept to my word in the years past, thru 2 trying periods, and i will keep it until i'm returned back to the ground - let everyone be my witness and judge.




the angsana trees from my window are in bloom again, beautiful showers of golden yellow... yet they are always such fleeting exuberances... why do they always have to wither and gone with the wind so soon...

don't worry, i won't do anything foolish. i've still gotta stand up and live this life... i'll find the courage and strength to do so.

salt water wells in my eyes...

i have been in love, and i still am...

my dearest had sent me her heart in a short note this morning...
and i'm afraid i've had just broken hers by a sin i commited years ago...
it was a sin i wish i nvr did, and i know that has come back to haunt me...

and as i read her beautiful touching note of a love and trust she'd given me, salt water wells in my eyes, because just as i was the most blessed person in the world i know, it all came falling down... the worst was not that i may lose her forever by baring my innermost soul, but that i had hid from her my ugly past til now...

forgive me, my sweetie.. for i never meant to hurt...
i'm sorry, for hiding my past from you until now...
i love you... and i shall treasure your love as i treasure your happiness...

dun cry... let me be the one to shed salt waters...