Don't be confused...

A fren of mine from workplace was rather confused by something... and i say, "don't... you're not confused, so don't be too bothered".

there are colleagues who can only remain as colleagues, and some who can and do become great frens, and some colleagues who wished to be frens, and some (though extremely few) who'd rather draw the line at being colleagues.

to those who are surround by great frens, it should not matter that one or two unfamiliar colleagues should remain as just that. to those who had no support from close frens for years, no one to really confide or share time with, every stage of their lives when they build up fragile courage and let go of past baggage to start afresh, it will not be surprising that it mattered, cos every perceived failure to be included makes the person retreats further and strengthen his belief that again, he had hit a brick wall, either to escape from again or that he's better off by himself and not a burden to others.

for my case, i believe, i'm just a colleague to many, if not all. however, because i understand that friendship is something given without expecting anything in return - not sought, i will do what i can as a friend for them and treat them as such, unless it causes unnecessary burden on them (which i'll only know if they tell me straight) - for to me they're my friends no matter how one-sided it is. sometimes, just a little show of kindness will go a very long way for me who had not received much in the past years, although at times i still fall into the trap of thinking kindness means more friendship... and spending much difficulty to get that out of my head.

of course, too long a time not having a friendship circle to interactive with may make a person out of touch and cause misunderstandings with his way of communication, and make things worse when all he's doing is trying to be a friend.

ultimately, what matters most to me are that my friends are happy and well, even if i can only watch from the sidelines... cos when they are happy, i'm happy and glad for them... how i feel inside, even if not able to share the happiness with them, does not matter... cos it had not mattered to most of my friends for years who had come and gone, too many times i've started anew only to find myself back to square one... still, life goes on... and everyone will always remain my friend...

and to this fren of mine, i say: "let not confusion rein nor be too bothered by it... and pls don't lose sleep over it. just be yourself and stay cheerful always. that, i'm sure, will make any well-meaning frens or colleagues happy." (",)