the pressure-cooker life

been too busy to blog lately, heck... wanna write testinomial to fren's frenster also couldn't grab the time.

work is slowly piling up... was using work as an outlet to keep myself busy, to think less of some things... and i have to admit it does work quite abit.

still... much as i face upfront the challenges of increasing workload and shifting up afew gears, sometimes i do wonder how much i take on is too much... am i driving myself too far? am i going to the extremes to test where my limits lie, and to see if i can break thru beyond? i take on the challenges to toughen myself... will i finally crash down exhausted? much as i dun expect anyone to care; though i really wish to be touched by frens who show they really cared, will they truly care? i know i've no right to doubt them, cos i certainly dun deserve their care if i as much as harbour an iota of skepticism, but after so much that had happened how much can i give my faith in others again... if i've any left at all now that i've gave so much away?

questions questions quiestions... best is not to think so much at all.

LY hasn't been replying my sms for sometime. hope she's doing fine and well, in her studies, relationship, nursing attachment, family and frens. bless her n her life. will see if i can call her sometime.

童话... 光良

忘了有多久
再沒聽到你
對我說你最愛的故事

我想了很久
我開始慌了
是不是我又做錯了甚麼

你哭著對我說
童話裡都是騙人的
我不可能是你的王子
也許你不會懂
從你說愛我以後
我的天空星星都亮了

我願變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手 變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局

你哭著對我說
童話裡都是騙人的
我不可能是你的王子
也許你不會懂
從你說愛我以後
我的天空星星都亮了

我要變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手
變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局

我會變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手
變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局
一起寫我們的結局

Celebration within

It has finally happened... LY n KW r now a couple! :D Since 8th April last friday :D

Feels so happy for her, hearing her thots when in the begining flushes of relationship..

So that ends one of my stories... now one of the knots has finally untied. Real glad.

:D

My thanks to a fren

been thru quite abit lately, and though i cannot say i'm back to being the bubbly cheerful guy afew years back, i can be sure i'm at least better now. This has come about very much by the help of a fren, who made some of my social life more fulfilling n treated me like a fren.

dun know if she'll see this, but if u do, i owe u one big Thanks! :) Maybe u dun realise it, or maybe u know it, but u certainly made my life much better, and i'm glad for that. Always great to feel like a friend. I hope her career directions will have a turn for the better soon. Go Lianz go! All the best!

DeSeNsItIzE

Desensitize: the opposite of sensitize.
Sensitize: to make sensitive (Oxford 6th Ed.)

To lose or reduce one's sense or senses, either through physical pain-hardening or mental thought. The climax as the ultimate high while cutting oneself, the feeling of exhilaration or happiness while bleeding oneself dry.

If one is willing to give one's all in support of a fren's happiness that does not involve oneself, praying every single day that fren and her fren will be blissfully together always, coz one is fren's good fren, helping give advise n lending ear to fren. And yet by doing so every time is tearing away at one's heart n soul, but one cannot just go in case fren will need one's friendship. So in the end, one can only give his care n concern n time, giving away pieces without replacement n making sure fren is happy. The only way to do so is to desensitize oneself, to give happily without showing hurt nor pain, until all is gone n nothing left except an empty skeleton. Double-edged sword b'cos desensitize may also remove one's sensory ability not just towards fren, but may also towards other frens as well.

Happiness while bleeding oneself dry, all that's left an empty shell.